Eternity or Humanity?
by Eclipsefan-16xo
Summary: Would you rather keep your Eternity or Humanity. Jeremy Gilbert decides to take a much larger amount of blood than he did in the show after Anna's "supposed" death. Is she dead or alive? What happens when he actually turns into a vampire? What happens when "sweet, innocent Gilbert" finally gets what he's wanted for months? Can Jeremy hold onto his humanity?
1. Valuable moments

**Chapter 1: Valuable moments**

**Jeremy's POV:**

I took Anna's blood out of the top drawer of my desk and I screwed open the lid, I swallowed it quickly without thinking and I walked out of my room. I knew what I wanted. I wanted to be with Anna forever. I needed to be with her forever. She was my everything and always would be. If you want to be with someone forever, you need to live forever.

"Jere?" I jumped out of my skin as Elena walked out from the kitchen, I walked around her and went to the biscuit tin, pretending that everything was still normal, when in reality it wasn't. "I was just heading up to bed, are you alright?" I nodded and took out a biscuit, I wasn't actually going to eat it though. I wasn't hungry and she smiled warmly back at me.

She waved shyly and went up to her bedroom. I put the biscuit down on the counter and my eyes met the knife rack slowly. I took out one of the largest ones and I ran upstairs to my room. It would be better if I did it in my room rather than anywhere else in the house. I locked my bedroom door and did what I had to.

I closed my eyes and raised the knife hesitantly and shoved it into my chest. I yelped and fell to the floor, leaving it there, I managed to crawl onto my bed and I felt my blood drip out of my body slowly, painfully. I passed out from lack of blood.

**Anna's POV**

I jumped through Jeremy's window and I almost fell back through it, I screamed and covered my mouth. I stared at his body on the bed, surrounded by blood. I held my breath and took a closer look at him, his skin was a waxy pale. Far too pale. I jumped onto the bed and shook him.

"Jeremy, please! No!" I screamed at him, I yanked the knife out from his chest, wondering who the hell would have done this and what their motives were. It wasn't John, was it? He wouldn't do this to a member of his family, would he? I rested my forehead against his, practically begging for him to come back to me, I shook my head and I sunk my teeth into my wrist, before I shoved my blood into his mouth. I knew that it was hopeless but I had to try I couldn't just let him leave me.

I couldn't. No. Never.

Why did he want to end his life? Wasn't I enough for him? If it wasn't John then it _must _have been himself. Why would he put a stop to his humanity; I would do anything to get mine back. To not have to hide who I was all the time. When I was with Jeremy I could be myself, be who I was instead of who my mother wanted me to be. I loved him. And...now - That's all gone.

I sobbed endlessly into the crook of his neck until it hurt too much to be there. I jumped out his window and I walked around without a care in the world.


	2. This is just a game

_**A/n: I'm sooo sorry for not updating this story in literally 11 months...I don't have an excuse...But here's a chapter, I hope you enjoyed - New chapter will be up soon-xo**_

* * *

_**I don't know where I'm at,  
I'm standing at the back,  
I'm tired of waiting...  
I shot for the sky,  
I'm stuck on the ground,  
Why do try I know I'm gonna fall down...  
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?  
I never know why it's coming down, down, down...  
**_  
**_Down - Jason Walker _**

* * *

**Chapter 2: This is just a game**

**Jeremy:**

My eyes flew open and I instantly clutched a hand to my chest. It had healed. But...Did that mean that I was...A vampire now? I ran a hand through my messy hair and ran to the mirror, my jawline was much more defined than normal and my skin was smoother and paler. Everything else was the same. Or was I just imagining all of this? Was this all a lie? Just a game?

I ran down the stairs immediately - panicking and Elena was sat in the living room with Stefan, she raised an eyebrow at me. "Morning Jere, what are you doing awake before noon?" She asked, taking a glance at Stefan before returning her judgy look to me.

"Have you seen Anna?" I asked, frowning. I leaned against the wall and they both shook their heads.

"Nope, not since the other night. Why?" Stefan asked, instantly sounding concerned. Why was he always so knowing and everything? It can't have been just because he was a vampire, that was ridiculous, Damon wasn't like that. Was he? I didn't spend that much time with him honestly to know what he was like. I shrugged and just ignored him, deciding that that would be a much better way to get around the situation.

"N-no reason," I mumbled and tried to cover up my panic and deep concern for wanting to find her. I needed someone to explain this. Explain what was happening to me.

I took a closer look at my sister unintentionally, and instantly regretted it. My eyes flew down to her neck, I could see clearer now and in much more depth. There was only one thing that stood out on her right now. Her veins. The blood.

"Jeremy? Are you feeling okay?" Elena asked, standing up and coming closer to me. I whimpered unintentionally, not able to pull it back when it happened and Stefan dashed in front of me with his vampire speed, I swallowed hard and shook my head, turning to sprint for the stairs but Stefan ran after me and grabbed onto the back of my shirt.

I fought against him as hard as I could, "Stefan! Please!" I screamed at him, not being able to take it anymore and I growled loudly at him out of anger. He instantly let go and Elena gasped loudly, I fell against the stairs and clutched a hand to my chest. I quickly gathered up the courage to get to my feet again before storming up the stairs as quick as I could.

Away from Elena.

Away from Stefan. Away from humans.

I locked my door and as soon as I did so there was a knock, "Jeremy please let me in, I can help you, just tell me what's going on." It was Stefan and he was pretending to care. He wouldn't have cared if I was dead though would he, really? It was all for Elena.

"You don't care, just leave me alone!" I shouted back at him, the anger coming out of nowhere. I started to get a raspy and dry feeling in my throat, everything seemed dark after that.

I stumbled over to my bed and curled up, hugging a pillow to my chest, trying to get any pain and any misfortune to just leave me be. I didn't need the pain of it all. I just wanted Anna.


End file.
